Fidel’s Corner: ‘Aubrey O’Day is a whore’

'I will not sleep until that dog Aubrey O'Day is dead.'

Of the cultures, American culture, in particular, is the one that confuses me.  The exchange of money for the consumption of your horribly watered coffee beans. 

The insistence on the SUV car as a representation of your bloated egotistical self-images.  Most confusing, the acceptance of the whorish Aubrey O’Day.

The facts are well-known: Aubrey O’Day appeared on American television, became famous of that failed rhythmic band Dannity Kane, then became a whore.  To me there is no subtlety in this chain of events.  I became most aware and offended upon overhearing the strains of her group’s din on my housekeeper’s stereo as she was cleaning my bathroom; I had her sent home with no pay for the distraction.  Who said that anybody, much less a talentless succubus, could land here and invade our transmissions with such shrill blather?

We Cubans are strong and patriotic enough to recognize a whore when we see one.  Aubrey O’Day is that whore.  I had my helper show me her picture using means I am not familiar with [Ed. note: Fidel seems to be referring to the Superficial] and was shocked at this monstrosity.  The giant puffed lips.  The glazed stare.  The orange skin, like a ripe peach.  She resembles a pig I saw during the revolution that appeared quite delicious at the time.  For my want, Che killed the pig and had it served to me for my dinner.

Long ago I said that weak men are men who are not strong enough to resist hardships; strong men or women are those who are strong enough to resist hardships.  Aubrey O’Day is that first creature.  I learned, that upon of her removal from the band, she did not labor to better herself, she did not labor to economically assert herself as independent of the capitalist machine, she did not reach out to the common people.  Instead, she was photographed kissing a woman, and spoke of her aspirations to be a pornographic star [Ed. note: Technically inaccurate, but probably true].  Clearly, she does not wish to liberate herself.  Clearly, she only wishes to be a whore.

The popularity of Aubrey O’Day dismays but does not shock me.  As I recall, the Americans were once fond of a band called Creed.  The racket they made was unbearable.  Apparently, Che was right when he said we should kill off all artists.