Can Anything Make the Lonely Island Funny?

This is the first thing you see when you get to Hell.

The Lonely Island has always seemed to us like a third-rate version of Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job, from the sports parodies to the awkwardness; the difference is that Tim and Eric don’t seem to care about being famous, so they just do whatever they want, while the Lonely Island’s grasps for relevance get more obvious and depserate with each new cameo or quirky idiosyncracy that they throw into the mix.  A bunch of their songs and videos have made me chuckle, but a lot of it has left me just high and dry; really now, is “I’m On A Boat” that funny?  Wouldn’t it just have been better if T-Pain did the song by himself?  Am I really saying a solo T-Pain record would have sounded better?  Yeesh.

In the interest of journalism, I decided to listen to their new and only CD, Incredibad.  The question being tested: Will marijuana make this CD sound funny?  The hypothesis: No, it will not.  I started out sober and progressed from there.

1. Who Said We’re Wack?

I don’t get it; is this parodying rap?  Is this supposed to riff on how rappers get in each others’ faces all the time?  I think this is Andy Samberg just yelling “Who said we’re wack?” for a minute.  I mean…I get that it’s satire; I’m just saying it’s not very good.

2. Santana DVX f. E-40

This song is about a Santana brand of champagne, like Carlos Santana.  I have nothing to say; it is really unfunny.  Yeah, let’s throw around “fuck” like it’s hilarious currency!  Fuck this, I can’t listen to this.  It physically pains me and I’m not even high yet.  I feel truly sad for anyone who buys this CD and actively laughs at it.  Do you understand?  This music physically depressed me.  Think about it; thousands of bros will be adopting this as their CD of choice when they’re trying to put the moves on a drunk girl.  “Hey, listen to this song.  Isn’t it so fucking funny?  Man, jizzing in your pants.  Wanna touch my dick?”

(at this point, I turn it off)

The answer is no.  Nothing can make the Lonely Island funnier.