Anime Owns, This Kid Doesn’t

Behold my fort of virginity.

Just kidding, anime sucks. It’s easy to love Akira and whatever cuteness Hayao Miyazaki craps out, but anime culture is probably the worst thing next to metal culture in terms of creepiness/devotion/love of furries. Sometimes, you’ve just gotta let the anime flag fly, which is why this guy took a yearbook photo – check the name and year in the corner – posing with all of his Dragon Ball Z VHS tapes.

There are a few things wrong with this photo.  One, it’s 2007 and this guy is repping a show made for hyper 8-year olds and fat kids. I haven’t watched DBZ since it was on Telemundo when I was 9, and I quickly figured out that it was just a lot of macho grunting and homoeroticism. It’s the 21st century, and this guy don’t get it.  Two, they’re VHS tapes.  VHS tapes of anime. Is he too poor for DVDs?  Maybe he has both, but the DVDs don’t make as good of a fort of nerdiness. Third, check out how smug this guy is. Look at that cocky grin!  What does he have to be smug about? Being the co-chair of the Japan club in high school? Getting a sweaty handjob from a homely Asian girl in the bathroom at Dragoncon? Living with his parents until he’s 27 and they kick him out? Goddamn.