$5,000 Wu-Tang Dunks Underscore Truth of “C.R.E.A.M”

What is it that makes these shoes so special, so intricate, so Wu-Tang?  I sat in on the board meeting to develop and market these sneakers back in 1999 when they were released, and the pitch was so persuasive Don Draper would’ve rolled himself into a giant blunt wrap and had himself express delivered to the Rza. 

It went like this:

Ghostface Killah: I wanna set one thing straight, everybody: The Wu-Tang brand is about subtlety and nuance.  It’s not just about getting crowds to beat the fuck out each other and yell “WU! TANG! WU! TANG!”
Miscellaneous Wu-Tang Members: WU! TANG! WU! TANG!
Ghostface: You see, it’s about keeping the mystery mysterious, like wearing fine lingerie under your business suit.
Misc. Wu-Tang Members: WU! Tang? (a singular stray punch echoes from the back of the room)
Ghostface: The Wu-Tang Dunk is about always having a little magic up your pant leg. (Ghostface takes off one shoe, uncaps a Sharpie marker and draws a small W on the outside heel) This is it, y’all.
Misc. Wu-Tang Members: Yo that’s tasteful.
Ghostface: I know.
Advertising guy: Well, we’ve never done anything like this before.  Who would you say is your target customer?
Ghostface: All those Sean Paul-lookin’ dudes that are always lining up outside unmarked garages at 9 AM in the rain.
Advertising guy: I think you’re really tapping into the right niche market here.
Ghostface: Meeting adjourned, everybody.  Go home and play with your vocoders.
Advertising guy: (calling after them on their way out the door) But wait, we didn’t settle on a price point!
Ghostface: (as the elevator door closes) FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS!
Ol’ Dirty Bastard: AND ONLY MAKE MY SIZE MOTHERFUCKER! 11 AND A HALF!
(Elevator door shuts.)

And so it was.  The five thousand dollar Wu Tang shoe, available only in mens’ size 11.5.  It should be noted that this year marks the sneakers’ tenth anniversary — drop out of college so you can afford your pair here.