We’re Always Right: Best Music of 2009 Awards

These guys are not in the Best Music list, but they swept the Take A Shower awards.

These guys are not in the "Best Music" list, but they swept the "Take A Shower" awards.

We do a lot of talking at Taintbrush. Sometimes we are wrong. Sometimes we are right. The latter is one of these times. These are some jams I liked a lot in 2009 and why. They are pretty typical and I am boring, but with respect blow me. Read More →

Welcome to the MSTRKRFT Concert

mstrkrft-artist

Oh, this crowd. My roommate and I are here because she called into the radio station and won tickets, and now to my right is a girl who has taken her shirt off, wearing just a leopard print push-up bra and jeans. This is what we won. Read More →

Sex, Drugs & Hero Worship: Finding Chuck Klosterman

Some heroes look like Cary Grant. Mine looks like this.

Some heroes look like Cary Grant. Mine looks like this.

I. I think I’ve just seen my hero walk past me in a Barnes & Noble. He is almost middle-aged, wearing a ferocious beard with square-rimmed glasses, a white t-shirt Read More →

Reality TV Family Trees, Or Why I Need to Lose My Cable Box

"What's up, Real?" "Oh, nothing, Chase - just about to get my dick sucked. You?"

"What's up, Real?" "Oh, nothing, Chase - just about to get my dick sucked. You?"

I do not feel safe in the world.

Read More →

Asher Roth Fan Club #1

mfw, lookin' for some cutie Asher Roth fans

mfw, lookin' for some cutie Asher Roth fans

Acoustic hip-hop covers are the most unheralded genre in music, because music critics are afraid of the transformative power of a bro bleatin’ rhymes in a flat tenor over weakly strummed chords on a two-bit guitar. Read More →

How Darryl Phinnessee Saved Christmas

(via Buzzfeed)

(via Buzzfeed)

I didn’t watch the Michael Jackson memorial because I was being a working person doing work at the time of its bajillion-channel broadcast (I still love you, liveblogs.) Regardless of business hours, the strong-willed and sensible among us Read More →

Public Enemas. Lol

In the vacuum of gangster drama, no one can hear you emote.

In the vacuum of gangster drama, no one can hear you emote.

The above title is irony. Public Enemies will not make you shit yourself. It is also not a shitty movie. But, given the expectations of the summer action blockbuster that has permeated most of American mid-year film culture, Read More →

A Guide To Spanish Film (And Possibly Pleasing Gwyneth)

Look, Gwyneth loves paella! Mmmm, vegan, gluten-free macrobiotic paella.

Gwyneth loves Spanish tradition! Especially a hearty vegan, gluten-free, macrobiotic paella.

In light of Gwyneth Paltrow’s outpouring of adoration for Spanish culture, I ventured into my local video store (HAHA local video stores) to peruse the Spanish film section. Feeling dwarfed by the multitude of titles and words with accents, I didn’t even know where to begin! It seems she hasn’t done much in the way of making such high culture accessible to the masses, as Gwyneth is wont to do. Oh, Gwyneth, Read More →

Bread Train To Hell

I am so sorry.

I am so sorry.

I stepped into a crowded subway car around ten this morning to see that a long stretch of seats was occupied by a urine-drenched person with his head in a box. People love to do the farmer fist gesture and say “Only in New York!” about things like this but let’s acknowledge that this is a rare and sad morning sight, not just a souvenir in story form. Read More →

The King is Dead, Boys

The realest dude, gold lamé and all.

The realest dude, gold lamé and all.

Michael Jackson is dead but I am not. This should be enough to make me happy about life, and I am. But plenty of people are not happy about life in the week following Read More →