MEOW?

I don’t know if “the jig is up” is even an appropriate phrase to use here, it’s kind of one of those Jason Stathamisms I end up barfing out at all the wrong moments, but WHATEVER, it’s fucking happening:

Shoemaker Crocs widened its loss in the first quarter, sending shares plunging more than 20% in after-market trading.

During the quarter, the company recorded a loss of $22.4 million, or 27 cents a share. Read More →

Some of you may remember the time I gleefully applied to be an office intern for It’s A Good Day To Be Black And Sexy — regretfully I didn’t land the gig, but my shattered hopes have been pieced back together.  Really, the moment I came across this listing I practically crapped liquid cover letters:

Let’s recap:

• No website, despite an online listing
• A gmail address that randomly has the word “sushi” in it
• A preference for “graffic student”
• Passion for fashion
• Requirement that candidates “be multi-task”
• Know how to GOOGLE

Listen, this place sounds like it’s run by a bunch of methed out LOLcats, and you can count me the fuck in. I’m totally multi-task, I’ve watched the Tyra Banks channel until my eyes smiled blood, and I can Google so well I’ll probably have all the sushi rockstars in that flophouse playing MMORPGs by the time they can process my nonexistent paycheck.  BRB updating my resume.

Just two adorable Easter bunnies eatin' matzo.

Why a video? Well, it’s simple. We love Passover, and we think Easter’s cool too ’cause bunnies are cuddly.  We enjoy the festivities and the universal cheer of springtime.  And we enjoy the way we feel after we stuff a tall stack of sheets of dry matzo in our mouths. We also lie about that last part.

Watch and you’ll understand.

Read More →

THE WOZ gettin' Wozzy on a bitch

I may have been all huffy about teen/tween trends, but now I am a changed woman (sort of) and my sarcasm has washed away (sort of!) As it turns out, we don’t all have to live a lonely, awkwardly clueless life on planet Miley Cyrus — not when there’s this season of Dancing With the Stars.  Read More →

As our first Taintbrush original video, we felt compelled to feature the smugface, the signature face of people who are smug as fuck.  Consider it a practical instructional video for those of us who are not naturally complacent and offensively self-satisfied all the time. Read More →

OH MAH GAWWWW!!!!!!!

Maybe because I’m the ripe age of 20, I have a hard time judging whether pop culture has always been controlled by teenagers or if this is a recent shift.  Either way, it’s an odd and vulnerable moment when you realize that you’re too old to get your head around what appears to be some of the hottest shit out there.  Having to concede that you don’t get it is a real stare-yourself-in-the-mirror-and-shed-a-single-tear moment.  God, you used to be so cool. Read More →

KON-VICT MU-SIC!

A terrifying tidbit from Akon’s Wikipedia entry:

Akon has confirmed that a reality television show is in the works. It will be called “My Brother’s Keeper” and the point is that Akon’s two nearly identical brothers will go around in Atlanta posing as him fooling people into thinking that it is in fact Akon. Read More →

What is it that makes these shoes so special, so intricate, so Wu-Tang?  I sat in on the board meeting to develop and market these sneakers back in 1999 when they were released, and the pitch was so persuasive Don Draper would’ve rolled himself into a giant blunt wrap and had himself express delivered to the Rza.  Read More →