These guys are not in the "Best Music" list, but they swept the "Take A Shower" awards.

We do a lot of talking at Taintbrush. Sometimes we are wrong. Sometimes we are right. The latter is one of these times. These are some jams I liked a lot in 2009 and why. They are pretty typical and I am boring, but with respect blow me. Read More →

Some heroes look like Cary Grant. Mine looks like this.

I. I think I’ve just seen my hero walk past me in a Barnes & Noble. He is almost middle-aged, wearing a ferocious beard with square-rimmed glasses, a white t-shirt Read More →

"What's up, Real?" "Oh, nothing, Chase - just about to get my dick sucked. You?"

I do not feel safe in the world.

Read More →

mfw, lookin' for some cutie Asher Roth fans

Acoustic hip-hop covers are the most unheralded genre in music, because music critics are afraid of the transformative power of a bro bleatin’ rhymes in a flat tenor over weakly strummed chords on a two-bit guitar. Read More →

In the vacuum of gangster drama, no one can hear you emote.

The above title is irony. Public Enemies will not make you shit yourself. It is also not a shitty movie. But, given the expectations of the summer action blockbuster that has permeated most of American mid-year film culture, Read More →

The realest dude, gold lamé and all.

Michael Jackson is dead but I am not. This should be enough to make me happy about life, and I am. But plenty of people are not happy about life in the week following Read More →

They can't believe they were just in this movie.

In Chicago’s Lincoln Park, where I live, there’s an athletic center with a fake rock climbing wall located on the outside wall of the building that goes up maybe four or five stories. Whenever I pass it, I imagine myself dropping the anime Read More →

This man is selling shit you will never be able to afford, like Grey Goose vodka and love.

Orson Welles once said that movies are canned because they come in cans, which means they aren’t fresh. He was making a point about how stale the cinema can seem, and why Read More →