KON-VICT MU-SIC!

A terrifying tidbit from Akon’s Wikipedia entry:

Akon has confirmed that a reality television show is in the works. It will be called “My Brother’s Keeper” and the point is that Akon’s two nearly identical brothers will go around in Atlanta posing as him fooling people into thinking that it is in fact Akon. Read More →

You are about to kill all these black people.

At midnight last night, I walked over to the local GameStop with a friend of mine, kicked the door in, stared the clerk in the eye and said, “Give me your finest video game.” The man, unnerved by my wayward eye and the six-inch stiletto I was tracing up and down my palm, Read More →

Serious: I just want to troll Zak Snyder hard enough so that one day, he will get Internet mad and try to hunt me down. Then we can discuss theories of adaptation and why he needs to try harder.

One of the regrettable things of the Internet is that it has allowed writers and editors to get so lazy when it comes to content, because if something can be thrown up on the Web for no real cost or risk Read More →

The Academy isn’t fooling anyone with all this posing as though it’s rewarding art, technical prowess, or talent; that it’s about merit, taste, upholding a standard of excellence; that it has nothing to do with box office grosses, industry relationships, and targeted marketing.  Read More →

Aaron Lewis of Staind will be the understudy of Kevin James in "Paul Blart: Mall Cop - The Musical."

I don’t know what goes on in Upstate New York.  I imagine there are nice houses, nice cars, nice beautiful, and a hell of a lot of cocaine, but what they do Read More →

This is the first thing you see when you get to Hell.

The Lonely Island has always seemed to us like a third-rate version of Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job, from the sports parodies to the awkwardness; the difference is that Read More →

Cam'ron curbing his enthusiasm in a hot tub.

We hear that rapper Cam’ron is developing a TV series based on Curb Your Enthusiasm.  We were so awed, thrilled, incredulous; we couldn’t resist calling up Cam’s weed carrier to get a copy of the script for the pilot episode.   He was kind enough to swing by Taintbrush headquarters to drop off a copy and a few girls we didn’t ask for!

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Uh oh, Quentin Tarantino’s making another movie.  Let’s see: Gimmicky dialogue?  Check.  Totally hilarious camp factor?  Check.  Giant cast of characters, several of whom make us go, “Oh, it’s that guy!”?  Check.  Typical self-preening and “homages” (read: rip-offs) of other directors?  Check.  Vomit all over my computer?  Check. Read More →