This is the future of communication.

I’ve been working at a Chicago comic book store for the last five years which has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life, getting to hang out with mostly-interesting people talking about nerd shit 24/7 and serving a mostly-cool clientele that constantly reminds me one thing: In the real world, no one cares how smart you try to be. Read More →

Some of you may remember the time I gleefully applied to be an office intern for It’s A Good Day To Be Black And Sexy — regretfully I didn’t land the gig, but my shattered hopes have been pieced back together.  Really, the moment I came across this listing I practically crapped liquid cover letters:

Let’s recap:

• No website, despite an online listing
• A gmail address that randomly has the word “sushi” in it
• A preference for “graffic student”
• Passion for fashion
• Requirement that candidates “be multi-task”
• Know how to GOOGLE

Listen, this place sounds like it’s run by a bunch of methed out LOLcats, and you can count me the fuck in. I’m totally multi-task, I’ve watched the Tyra Banks channel until my eyes smiled blood, and I can Google so well I’ll probably have all the sushi rockstars in that flophouse playing MMORPGs by the time they can process my nonexistent paycheck.  BRB updating my resume.

John Cassavetes holding Gena Rowlands in loving embrace.

Paris, early December, 2008. The shop is crowded with balding men in trenchcoats squeezing past each other to flip through the next unlabeled box of DVDs as if they’re going to find what they’re looking for; Read More →

As our first Taintbrush original video, we felt compelled to feature the smugface, the signature face of people who are smug as fuck.  Consider it a practical instructional video for those of us who are not naturally complacent and offensively self-satisfied all the time. Read More →

OH MAH GAWWWW!!!!!!!

Maybe because I’m the ripe age of 20, I have a hard time judging whether pop culture has always been controlled by teenagers or if this is a recent shift.  Either way, it’s an odd and vulnerable moment when you realize that you’re too old to get your head around what appears to be some of the hottest shit out there.  Having to concede that you don’t get it is a real stare-yourself-in-the-mirror-and-shed-a-single-tear moment.  God, you used to be so cool. Read More →

This man has giant nipples.

I was 13 the first time I read Watchmen. I took it out from the library on a whim because I had heard it was good from the guy at my comic book store, curled up in bed, and read the dang thing. At the time, it was the best comic I had ever read Read More →

Just workin' on they fitness

emmy: i once read this NYT article that says a 40 year old woman should be able to manage 16 push-ups no problem, which means a 20 year old woman should probably be able to do 20-30
jeremy: wow, i ain’t got shit on a 40 year old woman
emmy: ok so i just tried, i can do about 12 pushups in a row before i’m just like FARTTTTT
jeremy: i think i can do like, 7, whoop
emmy: i’m a leg strength kind of person!
jeremy: i have retarded leg strength too, compared to my arm strength
emmy: retarded=good?bad?
jeremy: good, always good
emmy: oh word. yeah i can leg press a family of hippopotamus
jeremy: i once drop kicked a mailbox
emmy: i pretty much loathe the gym but i’m fascinated by the thought that i could become a phonebook-tearing monster, just, rrrrrrip, ROAR
emmy: perhaps the origins of the phrase “rip-roaring”
jeremy: yeah, i wish i could, like, do back flips off walls
jeremy: but whatever, i’m really good at the internet
jeremy: smugface
jeremy: god i need a fuckin’ emoticon for the smug face
jeremy: maybe ; /
emmy: ;-}{
emmy: GOT EM
emmy: it has a doublechin and everything, just like a real smug face

A fan of The Dark Knight gets ready to post on the Internet.

A final note on the Academy Awards, and then we will never discuss them again. Ideologically, I hate what the Oscars stand for; I watch them every year Read More →